Mickey Does Not Live Here

Mus domesticus or otherwise known as "house mouse". While such creature may be adorable in red pants, white shoes and have the name, "Mickey", Mus Domesticus is forbidden from my domestic residence. Unless, of course it has been purchased as a stuffed fabric creature that brings a smile to a child's face.
However, a Mus Domesticus has decided to take up residence in my residence. And no, I don't mean a mouse named Mickey.

Here's the performance so far this morning:

Cast: Caretaker performed by yours truly
Mr. Bettis performed by himself, the oaf
Gypsy performed by herself
Cats? What cats?
DH performed by husband who swears we do not have any mice and refuses to believe that we do unless they come out and announce their arrival by parade, party etc.
Mus Domesticus perfomed by house mouse

ACT I
Dogs want fed.
Caretaker retrieves food bag from pantry closet (you wouldn't want anyone else to feed the dogs, would you?)
Caretaker pours food into dog dish and what falls out with the food? A Mus Domesticus! Or otherwise known as the ordinary house mouse!
Food bag drops to floor.
Caretaker (who is known to be terrified of a mouse) yells..........okay, more like screeches, screams or more commonly known as, going into hysteria!
Mus Domesticus sits there.
Mr. Bettis went up to it as it perched its' grey, little, disgusting self on the dog food dish and that dog proceeds to sniff it. Sniff it? Don't just sniff it, NAB IT!
Gypsy runs around barking because of all of the commotion.
Caretaker tries coax a cat.
Caretaker grabs cat who then proceeds to scratch Caretaker.
Cat jumps from Caretaker's arms.
Mr. Bettis chases cat.
Cat runs.
Another cat arrives on the scene.
Mr. Bettis chases that cat as well.
Another Cat runs.
Mus domesticus is now in front of the antique cookstove trying to hide in the brick flooring. He is, now get this, washing his front feet! He has beady malicious eyes and I'm here to tell you, if he was armed, he would be dangerous. This particular Mus Domesticus is not your ordinary house mouse.

ACT II

Dogs pace floor.
Cats have been successfully chased and are now hiding from Mr. Bettis
Caretaker? Well? She is shrieking uncontrollably.
Gaining composure, Caretaker quietly picks up the telephone.
Caretaker proceeds to dial the DH at work.
Caretaker screams into the phone to the DH that it is his responsibility to protect the domestic residence from creatures. Caretaker also informs the DH that said residence is not Noah's New Ark.
DH stupidly laughs.
Caretaker then proceeds to inform DH that if he kept it up he could find himself alone in the house with Mus Domesticus. As Caretaker explains, said residence is not large enough for herself and house mouse.

ACT III
DH assures Caretaker that he will see if he has traps.
Caretaker informs DH that while he may think he is playing Mouse-opoly, he will not assume that he has traps. He will stop on his way home from work and purchase traps. He will get up each and every morning 15 minutes earlier than his normal wake up time and check the traps.
After being threatened with other actions Caretaker could/would take, DH decides that he will follow through with his job of protecting the residence.
DH is still stupidly chuckling.
Caretaker is going through the house with a pan and knitting needles banging on the pan to keep the Mus domesticus at bay.
Mr. Bettis and Gypsy are outside.
And where are the Cats?

Well, this is Phoebe sleeping soundly. She is the only one I could find to get a picture. The other cat could not be found. She's hiding and sleeping. So much for cats in this house.










I will post the conclusion of this performance as it unfolds. The black bear (Ursus Americanus) has been seen hanging around the residence and I can tell you this much, the Caretaker is more afraid of the beady eyed monster known as Mus Domesticus than the Ursus americanus!